Just hours before he was scheduled to make his triumphant return to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), The Undertaker has bowed out of his WrestleMania appearance due to a “major case of the sniffles.”
“Sorry guys,” the Phenom said in a hoarse, nasally voicemail left at WWE’s Stamford headquarters.
“Gotta sit this one out. Don’t want to get anyone else sick.”
Undertaker sensed a sore throat coming on a couple of days ago and has, in his words, “been feeling pretty blah all around lately.”
Wrestling fans worldwide are upset by the news that The Undertaker will not square off against Bray Wyatt at Sunday’s event, though they’re relieved to learn he doesn’t have a fever, nausea, or soft stool.
Wyatt is now scheduled to face Tyson Kidd during the 16-hour WrestleMania pre-show.
According to the Official Charter of the WWE Rules Committee, the Undertaker’s forfeit due to illness is tantamount to a loss, meaning that his win-loss record at WrestleMania will become 21-2.
“It’s a bummer,” said the so-called Phenom, “but I just can’t do it. I feel like death.”