The world is united in shock tonight after U.S. President Donald Trump peeled a latex mask off his face during a White House press conference to reveal that he is actually professional wrestling mogul Vince McMahon in disguise.
“It was me, America,” growled McMahon, “it was me all along!”
Trump has been a controversial and divisive force since winning the election — signing executive orders to deport Muhammad Hassan and Daivari, and denouncing Pro Wrestling Illustrated as “fake news.”
Trump’s appointment of Linda McMahon as Small Business Administrator now makes perfect sense, as does his decree that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will soon join his “Kiss My Ass Club.”
The revelation that Trump is actually a disguised McMahon seems to also explain his unfettered megalomania, his penchant for bombast, his larger-than-life personality, and his fake tan.
Commented CNN anchor Anderson Cooper: “Now this all kind of makes sense.”