Despite his best efforts to protect his children from filth on the internet, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) executive Hunter Hearst Helmsley was mortified to discover today that his eight-year-old daughter has Googled the search term “Katie Vick.”
“Oh, God, no,” muttered Helmsley after seeing his daughter’s search history on a laptop in the Helmsley family’s Connecticut mansion.
Helmsley’s daughter, Holly Hannah Hearst Helmsley (or Quadruple H, as friends call her), apparently searched the term after seeing rumors on Twitter that someone named Katie Vick might be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.
The Google search presumably yielded results that revealed the grim tale of Vick, a cheerleader from Death Valley who was tragically killed in a car accident and, according to some accounts, sexually defiled post-mortem by Kane (who was then a dentistry student).
Helmsley is less worried about his daughter learning details about the case than the possibility that she might find video footage of his own re-enactment of the necrophilia. Lucky for him, WWE seems to have meticulously expunged all evidence of the incident from the World Wide Web.
Helmsley is also desperately hoping his children never see what a juvenile fratboy d-bag he was in every single D-X segment.