The day devoted to celebrating the love and devotion of mothers everywhere is a heart-wrenching occasion for one disembodied hand, whose own mother, Mae Young, passed away at the tender age of 90.
“I still miss my mom,” said Hand — speaking, of course, via sign language.
“I miss her smile, her batshit-crazy behavior, her voracious lust for enormous black men — everything.”
Young gave birth to Hand in 2000 after a torrid love affair with Mark Henry, whom she lovingly nicknamed “Sexual Chocolate.”
The birth of Hand was a surprise to many — some people in the delivery room even vomited in shock — because the birth was a biologically impossible anomaly, and also because it was indicative of the puerile, shock-driven writing that was the calling card of WWE’s so-called Attitude Era.
But none of that matters to Hand, who would “gladly trade a pinky finger” for the opportunity to spend Mother’s Day with Young.
Hand is, however, looking forward to going for brunch with Mark Henry next month on Father’s Day, because “that’s what we do.”