A team of archeologists and theologians has announced the landmark discovery of a gateway to Hell directly beneath a World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) ring.
The exact location of Hell’s gaping maw was confirmed Monday night when a demon — said to be the Devil’s favorite — clawed its way through the canvas of the WWE ring in an attempt to abduct WWE an unsuspecting WWE Superstar.
Witnesses reported the strong odor of sulphur and scorched flesh emanating from the gateway, although many residents insist wrestling arenas always smells like that.
The agonized cries of tortured souls doomed to eternal damnation could be heard as well, but skeptics attribute this phenomenon to the the fans who realized that Kane has been saddled with yet another lame gimmick.
The archeologists report that Hell is populated by the souls of the wicked, as well as flimsy garbage cans, kendo sticks, a sledgehammer, and a cooler full of light beer.
After several minutes of panic and mayhem, the gateway to Hell became sealed during a commercial break — a phenomenon some called a “miracle” and others attributed to “the work of a great ring crew.”