Amid swirling rumors that Linda McMahon is being considered to become Secretary of Commerce in President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet, insider sources reveal McMahon plans to emerge from a catatonic state with swift kick to the presidential groin.
McMahon, a former World Wrestling Entertainment executive and two-time U.S. Senate candidate, is presumed to be a leading contender for Secretary of Commerce, along with the so-called Billionaire Teds — DiBiase and Turner.
A source close to the McMahon family says Linda secretly harbors strong anti-Trump sentiment, and has lulled the president-elect into a false sense of security by donating heavily to his campaign.
If she is made Secretary of Commerce, McMahon is expected to feign a vegetative state, then wait until Donald Trump is about to hit a Mexican over the head with a garbage can before delivering the kick to his raisins (a maneuver she practiced on her husband’s grapefruits).
Shane McMahon, meanwhile, is reportedly being considered to become Secretary of Jumping From Great Heights.