It was confirmed today that professional wrestler Hulk Hogan will appear at WrestleMania 30 this April in the long-awaited rematch between Thunderlips and Rocky Balboa.

Almost 32 years have passed since Thunderlips and Balboa first squared off in exhibition bout that, despite being billed as a lighthearted charity event, escalated into a reckless melee.

That first showdown resulted in a draw — an inconclusive result that has always bothered Thunderlips (also known as The Ultimate Male and The Ultimate Object of Desire).

“I should have destroyed that meatball,” snarled Thunderlips, his trademark handlebar moustache curled into a sneer beneath his ever-receding hairline.

Balboa has always wanted a rematch because the stress of the Thunderlips bout caused his beloved trainer, Mickey Goldmill, to suffer a chest pains that proved to be the precursor to fatal heart attack.

Balboa has had tremendous success in boxing since the showdown with Thunderlips, defeating such impressive opponents as Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago, Tommy Gunn (although nobody enjoyed that fight) and Mason Dixon.

Thunderlips went on to have moderate success under the name Hulk Hogan, facing such superstars as Lanny Poffo, Karl Malone and Jay Leno.

 

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