Immediately following the historic vote in Ireland to legalize same-sex marriage, WWE superstars and longtime life-partners Sheamus and Hornswoggle finally wed in an intimate civil service.
The ceremony, officiated by former wrestler and current WWE agent Dave “Fit” Finlay, marked an important milestone not just for Sheamus and Hornswoggle, but for gay rights and leprechaun rights activists worldwide.
Asked if he promised to “love and cherish Hornswoggle in sickness or in health, in the ring or underneath it,” a teary-eyed Sheamus replied: “I do, my sweet little fella.”
Hornswoggle, when asked if he would honor Sheamus “in heelness or in babyfaceness, regardless of stupid haircut,” the dirt-encrusted leprechaun giggled nonsensically.
WWE Chairman Vince McMahon,who has been a staunch gay rights activist since the failed 2002 nuptials of Chuck and Billy, was on hand to give away his son’s hand in marriage.
Although Ireland’s gay marriage ruling faces stiff opposition from the Roman Catholic establishment, McMahon says he is unworried since he and his other son, Shane, already defeated God in a 2006 tag team match.