In the final gasps of his eight years as America’s impotent Idiot-in-Chief, Dumb-O-Cratic President Barack Obama has disappointed the nation yet again by failing to get Damien Sandow reinstated by World Wrestling Entertainment.
“The masses need intellectual savior,” blasted Republican commentator Tomi Lahren, “and Barack Hussein Obama can’t even make that happen.”
President-elect and maker-of-America-great-again Donald Trump tweeted today that one of his first jobs in the Oval Office will be the swift re-hiring of Sandow and placement into a headlining feud for WrestleMania.
Among the other abysmal failings of the Obama administration:
- Obamacare failed to prevent the injury and retirement of Daniel Bryan
- Obama’s liberal, politically correct policies abolished the “sexist” term “Divas”
- Obama’s open-door immigration policies allowed Alberto Del Rio to take Paige off the dating market
Millions of libtard crybaby snowflakes will insist that WWE should make more jobs available to visible minorities, women and Mexicools, but Trump said all new WWE hires will be “real Americans.”
Trump is also expected to call for the reinstatement of fellow wispy-haired, orange-skinned cartoon character, Hulk Hogan.