Professional wrestler Wade Barrett, known worldwide as a perpetual bearer of bad news, found himself struggling today to tell his friends and colleagues about the money he recently saved on car insurance by switching to GEICO.
“I’m afraid I’ve got some… no, wait, that won’t work,” stammered Barrett, eager but unable to convey even a single piece of good news.
The British brawler has made a name for himself in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) by ascending a hydraulic pulpit and delivering grim missives about global warming, the faltering economy, and the pervasive ugliness of wrestling fans.
But when faced with the rare opportunity to share some glad tidings, the wrestler received a taste of poetic justice, unable to find the words.
“I’m afraid I’ve… painted myself into a bit of a corner here,” said the reigning WWE Intercontinental Champion. “Well I’ll be damned.”
The reversal of fortune seems only fair, given how terribly things unfolded during Barrett’s recent Make-A-Wish visit.