Sports-entertainment impresario Vince McMahon has reportedly put his sprawling Connecticut lair — a cursed castle encircled by an alligator-infested moat — on the market for $3,192,316,666. 

If you’re looking for a fixer-upper with old-school charm haunted by the angry spirits of promoters from wrestling’s territorial era,  look no further. 

The 60-bedroom, 30-cannon, single-toilet castle has been McMahon’s lair for an estimated 300 years, though his true origins are unclear. 

“Ancient manuscripts suggest that Vince McMahon was born in that castle and raised by the lunatics in its dungeon,” writes biographer Abraham Josephine Riesman in her upcoming biography of McMahon, Quite Frankly: The Vince McMahon Story and Things of That Nature. 

“Baby Vince was fed a daily bucket of fish entrails and talcum powder (a mixture he later turned into a bodybuilding supplement called ICO PRO),” writes Riesman.

“In adolescence, young Vince was adopted by Ed McMahon and Lillian Ellison McMahon, where Vince learned the ropes of the wrestling business, but tragically developed a neurological disorder that causes him to swing his arms and legs wildly when walking (a disorder many have mistaken for an arrogant strut).”

McMahon is reportedly selling the castle because he finds it “a bit cramped,” and is looking for something roomy, like a dormant volcano, a sprawling underground cave system, or Area 51. 

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