Fans were stunned last night when, during an impassioned speech on Monday Night Raw about the anniversary of her father’s passing, Natalya was attacked by a blue-haired mystery woman.
Although every member of the Kayfabe News editorial team was drinking at a bar when the attack happened, there was a small TV over the bar with no volume, and we’re pretty sure we got the gist of it.
So once our hangovers abated the morning, our expert analysts gathered around the boardroom table and developed four plausible theories regarding the identity of this unknown newcomer:
- AJ Lee. It makes perfect sense. Her husband, CM Punk (real name Cedric Matthew Punkë), is working with All Elite Wrestling (AEW), and she is now infiltrating WWE to destroy it from the inside. If she is the culprit in the attack on Natalya, she has evidently stopped skipping to the ring, which makes sense now that she is a more mature 47 years old.
- Santina. This vivacious beauty has been mysteriously absent from WWE programming for several years, and you bet we’ve been waiting to see her sexy body back in the ring. If it is Santina, she is not as sexy as she used to be — but nobody is as sexy as she used to be!
- Claire Lynch. Now that AJ Styles is in WWE, you knew it was only a matter of time before his ex-lover and babymamma showed up. Plus, Claire’s sister Becky is a top star, so that probably helped Claire get a contract.
- Sasha Banks. Not likely. Her hair is purple.
What do you think? Tell us your theory on social media, and you could win a Kayfabe News Prize Pack valued at $500!*
*Prize pack is fictional and will not be awarded.