Despite being one of the world’s most elusive professional wrestlers in recent years, The Undertaker announced today that he is rejoining the full-time active roster, and has promised to sports-entertain against every WWE superstar except John Cena.

The announcement has caused much excitement among fans but is frustrating to Cena, who spent weeks badgering The Undertaker into a WrestleMania showdown, only to be demolished by the Deadman in a three-minute squash match of Barry-Horowitzian brevity.

Starting tomorrow, The Undertaker will hit the so-called “house show” circuit, performing at non-televised WWE live events in matches including:

• April 13, Albany, NY: Undertaker vs. Kalisto
• April 14, Erie, PA: Triple Threat Match — Undertaker vs. Rhyno vs. Curt Hawkins
• April 15, Omaha, NB: Mixed Tag Match — Undertaker and Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks and Finn Balor
• April 16: Tallahassee, FL: Cruiserweight Championship Match: Undertaker vs. Cedric Alexander
• April 17: Tulsa, OK: Hair vs. Hair Match: Undertaker vs. Baron Corbin

The Undertaker is expected to wrestle more than 300 matches over the next year and, despite constant requests from Cena for a rematch, he will instead square off at WrestleMania 35 against Nicholas.