trump wwe
L’il Donny Trump occupies himself during the government shutdown with his Immigration Chamber playset.

WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Trump announced today a “tremendously more effective and entertaining” alternative to his much-ballyhooed border wall — a structure of chain-link steel and plexiglass pods called the “Immigration Chamber.”

According to Trump, the Immigration Chamber will “put an end to the national emergency at our southern border” by forcing six would-be asylum-seekers to battle inside what some liberal pundits have described as “a demonic structure” and “the devil’s playground.”

More from Kayfabe News

According to Trump, two would-be immigrants will be forced to compete in a “squared circle” (whatever that means), while six others are held captive in plexiglass pods, to be released one-by-one at set intervals in random order.

The last immigrant standing earns the opportunity to be considered for legal migration into the US and to work as housekeeping staff at a Trump Tower hotel in Houston or Vladivostok.

Congressional democrats has described the Immigration Chamber idea as “abhorrent” but “kinda awesome,” and have tentatively agreed to fund the $5.7 billion structure “as long as the Lucha Dragons are allowed to compete.”

Leave a Comment