undertaker wwe
The Undertaker (right) enjoys some quality time with the mad scientist who created it.

Fans of professional wrestling know The Undertaker as one of the most dominant — perhaps the most dominant — performers to ever grace the squared circle… but his amazing career almost didn’t happen! 

The Undertaker’s legendary “streak” at WrestleMania is an unparalleled achievement in sports entertainment, and the on-screen character seemed invincible… but his terrible secret nearly destroyed him!

The Undertaker is a menacing symbol of unstoppable power… but the man behind “the Phenom” has been plagued by a horrible secret! 

This paragraph is just filler, to keep you on the site longer, because that’s all that matters in this terrible world… but The Undertaker’s terrible secret is something something something! 

What is the tragic secret, you ask? 

Keep reading! 

We’re getting there.!

This is how clickbait works!

You should just be grateful we’re not making you click your way through a multi-page slideshow! We would, but we don’t know how! 

Anyway… what about The Undertaker’s terrible secret?!?

The Undertaker (real name Cab Calloway) made his debut in WWF (then WWWE) in 1979 as Big Ginger McGee. He then performed in WCW as Mean Cab Calloway for a stint before returning to WWE…. where his deepest, darkest secret would finally be revealed!

You’re probably getting annoyed that we haven’t told you about the about The Undertaker’s tragic secret… but we assure you it is heartbreaking! 

Just keep scrolling, dummy! 

Clickbait only works if you have to look at a bazillion ads before you get to the disappointing conclusion of the stupid link you clicked on while high! 

So, what is The Undertaker’s terrible secret? 

Skip to recipe. 

You’re not going to believe deep dark secret that WWE’s The Undertaker has!

Click here for the secret

Or…

… If you’re ready….

Skip to recipe.

Here is The Undertaker’s Deep Dark Secret. 

Are you ready?

The secret is this: 

Paul Bearer was Kane’s biological father! This means that when Undertaker burned down the family funeral home, he not only killed his parents, but also killed the woman that Bearer once loved, and burned his son beyond recognition. 

Can you imagine!?

So tragic! 

Thoughts and prayers to Cab “The Undertaker” Calloway! 

Also, the trauma from that incident led The Undertaker’s half-brother, Kane Bearer, to have sex with a dead cheerleader or something. It gets weird. 

Just buy a goddamned shirt. 

 

 

 

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