walk with elias
For many wrestling fans, walking with Elias would require significant training in advance.

Despite their frequent shouted affirmations that WWE stands for “Walk With Elias,” a new study published this week by Harvard Review of American Slovenliness reveals that an overwhelming majority of wrestling fans would instead waddle with the grappling singer-songwriter.

“As the American lifestyle has become increasingly sedentary — particularly among individuals who spend three hours every Monday evening staring at the television — waddling has become the primary method of bipedal ambulation,” reads the study.

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According to statistics, only four percent of wrestling fans are physically capable of briskly “walking” with Elias, whereas the rest would:

  • Waddle With Elias (57 percent)
  • Wiggle With Elias (13 percent)
  • Wheeze With Elias (11 percent)
  • Wobble With Elias (9 percent
  • Wheelchair With Elias (6 percent)

The study further revealed that, for a significant portion wrestling fans, WWE also stands for “We Want Eclairs.”



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