raw underground
Shane McMahon says he has been sleeping much better since launching the wrestle club. “Babies don’t sleep this well,” he said.

Shane McMahon was suffering from chronic insomnia until he and a mysterious new friend named Tyler launched a gritty underground wrestling club recently.

“The first rule of Raw Underground is that you do not talk about Raw Underground,” said McMahon on live TV, thus breaking the first rule.

McMahon met Tyler Durden — an offbeat, independent vendor of high-quality soaps — when the two were seated next to one another on a turbulent flight.

After discovering that his Connecticut mansion had exploded due to a mysterious gas leak, a desperate Shane called Tyler, and the duo spent the evening at a dive bar, lamenting late 20th-century materialism and male emasculation.

Tyler surprised Shane by asking for a strange favor: “I want you to sports-entertain me as hard as you can.”

At first Shane was incredulous, but after he nailed Tyler with an elbow drop from atop a nearby telephone pole, a crowd of onlookers gathered and asked to join, thus launching a cross-country network of frustrated indie wrestlers who need to sports-entertain to feel manly.

Shane unveiled Raw Underground this week during Raw (Above Ground), but strangely absent was his mysterious friend Tyler.

Sources close to McMahon are reportedly worried about him because he seems to be talking to himself a lot these days. Bizarrely, none of those sources can recall ever seeing Shane and Tyler in the same room together.

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