Despite their ongoing efforts to settle their personal differences through physical contact, the world’s professional wrestlers once again failed to reach a compromise this week, which means the fighting will continue. 

It has been more than a century since professional wrestlers started feuding with one another on a weekly basis — sometimes five days a week, and twice on Sundays — in order to hash out their personal animosities. 

Wrestlers often attempt to settle their differences through verbal dialogue, each wrestler using a microphone, but such peace talks inevitably descend into violence, broken tables, and endless repetitive feuds that stretch on for months or years. 

Occasionally, rival wrestlers are forced to temporarily put their differences aside when they are told by an authority figure that they must be tag team partners, but even those relationships eventually result in fisticuffs. 

WWE has reportedly hired a Conflict Resolution Consultant, Dr. M. Shelby, with the goal of replacing all in-ring combat with respectful dialogue by the year 2023. 

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