lex luger yokozuna
On July 4, 1993, Lex Luger performed the most important deed in American history.

Americans from sea to shining sea will launch fireworks tonight to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Lex Luger bodyslamming nefarious Japanese wrestler Yokozuna aboard an aircraft carrier.

That date of Luger’s monumental and patriotic achievement — July 4, 1993 — is generally considered the most important date in American history, and is the inspiration behind the song America the Beautiful.

Luger’s bodyslam of the 400-pound sumo wrestler is also believed to have prevented a full-scale war against Japan. The Asian nation signed an unconditional peace treaty with the United States mere hours after the slam.

Luger is considered by most Americans to be the founding father of their great nation, largely thanks to the stars-and-stripes sweatshirt he wore tucked into his high-waisted light-blue jeans that historic day.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence is occasionally mentioned as a footnote in history textbooks about Luger’s triumph.

At the White House today, Barack Obama told reporters that he “aspires to carry on the proud legacy started by Lex.”