Amid skyrocketing inflation and the rising cost of living, independent professional wrestlers have taken to the picket lines to demand an increase in their compensatory currency of hot dogs and handshakes. 

A new study reveals that approximately 92 percent of independent pro wrestlers are suffering from the economic downturn, with many barely eking out an existence living hot-dog-to-hot-dog, handshake-to-handshake. 

“I used to be able to get by on six hot dog and four handshakes a month,” lamented independent wrestler Elian Habanero, who has to supplement his wrestling income with hot dogs and handshakes from friends and family. 

“Prices of everything going up and up, but us wrestlers aren’t seeing a single extra wiener, bun, or even condiments. And handshakes nearly disappeared when the pandemic hit.”

The rising price of gasoline is also hitting indy wrestlers in the pocketbook, forcing them to save money by cramping up to 14 passengers into the local promoter’s mom’s minivan, rather than the standard 11. 

Professional wrestling is a difficult business in which to earn a living, and only the very top stars of WWE and AEW get contracts worth hundreds of thousands of hotdogs and handshakes.