The deranged and self-described Monday Night Messiah, Seth Rollins, has been popping eyeballs and breaking bones lately in an escalating series of attacks that “deeply sadden and disappoint” his father, punk rocker and longwinded storyteller Henry Rollins.

In other breaking news:

  • Burt “The Excellent Execution” Hart speaks out against Seth Rollins’ obsession with de-balling one’s eye
  • Randy Orton punted Big Show’s elephantine head into the third (i.e. back) row of the WWE Performance Center
  • The stipulation for the upcoming Ziggler/McIntyre rematch will almost certainly be…. welll.. watch the newscast:

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