harley race dead
Harley Race (foreground) intends to become King of the Afterlife after defeating former rival and eternal friend, Dusty Rhodes (background).

Harley Race, the legendary eight-time NWA champion known as “the greatest wrestler on God’s green Earth,” broke free today from the submission hold of cancer and became the greatest wrestler in God’s great beyond.

The former King of the Ring delivered his last “finish” — sadly, not a “Dusty finish,” but the real deal — after a full lifetime of entertaining fans worldwide.

The tough-as-nails WWE Hall of Famer reportedly elbowed his way to the front of the line to Heaven, sneered menacingly at Saint Peter, kicked open the Pearly Gates, and immediately set out to find former rival Dusty Rhodes.

Backstage sources in the afterlife report that Race and Rhodes are already booked to perform a so-called “broadway” — an eternal-time-limit draw — with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan on commentary.

The match is being promoted by Vince McMahon Sr. as “Hellraisers Collide in Heaven,” and has reportedly already sold 3.2 billion tickets — which are, of course, all ringside and all free.

 

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