replica wrestling
McGorman (front, smug) walks with the smug demeanor of an actual championship moments before a surprise cash-in attempt.

In a ruckus described by one witness as “awkward and sad,” a Florida man with a replica WWE Money in the Bank briefcase attempted yesterday to “cash in” on a stranger carrying a replica WWE World Heavyweight Championship belt.

The incident occurred outside a Tallahassee Wal-Mart, where both men were standing in small line for an autograph signing by retired sports-entertainer Virgil.

According to witnesses, 41-year-old Brad Wilkinson, a part-time sandwich artist and self-described “smark,” suddenly ran with his replica briefcase toward 25-year-old telemarketer Brayden McGorman, who had the $400 replica championship proudly slung over his shoulder as if he had earned it.

Wilkinson then handed the briefcase to bystander in a striped t-shirt and demanded that he “ring the bell,” which drew blank looks of confusion until a nearby cyclist eventually ting-a-linged a bicycle bell.

What ensued was a short and cringe-inducing “match” in which Wilksonson attempted to hit McGorman with a flying hurricarana, but due to Wilksonson’s considerable girth and immobility, resulted in a self-inflicted faceplant on the sidewalk.

As quickly as it had begun, the impromptu title match was over, and the young McGorman retained the championship (or “my strap,” as he calls it) that his parents gave him for Christmas.

After Wilksonson was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital, doctors discovered that his briefcase contained a homemade “championship match contract” written in crayon, as well as a dozen Slim Jims.

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