Unwilling to vote for either a senile old man or a crazy old man, a growing swath of the American public intends to vote for a dead Canadian man, Jack Tunney, because he’s only good president they can remember in their lifetimes.

A recent poll shows that 46 percent of Americans would rather see the former World Wrestling Federation (WWF) president run the United States than either President “Just Joe” Biden or WWE Hall of Famer Donald Jessica Trump.

“Tunney 2024” signs have been popping on lawns across the country, and stores are selling out of red trucker caps that read “Make Jack Prez Again.”

Although Tunney has very limited experience in politics — and, it bears repeating, is no longer alive — he has become more popular in polling that both Biden and Trump among young voters, old voters, middle-aged voters, people of color, albinos, the LGBTQ+ community, swingers, and illegal immigrants.

Trump has criticized Tunney for not being alive — nicknaming him “Flatline Jack” — and Biden frequently refers to him a “Mack Bunny,” but Tunney’s supporters remain undaunted.

Tunney’s stances on many of the hot-button political topics are unknown, though it seems voters are fond of his “law and order” stance, such as when he suspended crooked referee Danny Davis, or punished the Islanders for dognapping Matilda.

Leave a Comment