In its ongoing effort to stem the tide of “fake news” on the internet, social media giant Facebook has banned all sites related to professional wrestling — except, of course, for the last remaining bastion of reliable wrestling journalism, Kayfabe News.
Facebook founder and CEO “Marvellous” Mark Zuckerberg said at a press conference today that Facebook will no longer allow websites containing the following words and phrases:
- “Trips is burying”
- “Meltzler” or “Alvarez”
- “Vince is reportedly furious…”
- “According to WWE.com…”
- “Flair recalled…”
- “Russo said on Twitter…”
The banning of wrestling “news” sites comes after the release of a multi-year statistical study which shows that, on average, the rumors news news reported by supposedly “legitimate” wrestling websites are true only 0.0071 percent of the time — much lower than would happen through pure chance.
Kayfabe News, meanwhile, was shown to have a 103 percent accuracy rate — which, although mathematically impossible, was vehemently confirmed by our Chief Statistical Consultant, University of Michigan professor Dr. S. Steiner.
In this era of fake news — so eloquently and ingeniously exposed by WWE’s greatest Hall of Famer, Donald Trump — we at Kayfabe News promise to deliver only the most fair, balanced, and accurate reportage, like this and this.