fake news
Mark Zuckerberg, Universal Champion of Social Media, announces new rules related to wrestling news.

In its ongoing effort to stem the tide of “fake news” on the internet, social media giant Facebook has banned all sites related to professional wrestling — except, of course, for the last remaining bastion of reliable wrestling journalism, Kayfabe News.

Facebook founder and CEO “Marvellous” Mark Zuckerberg said at a press conference today that Facebook will no longer allow websites containing the following words and phrases:

  • “Trips is burying”
  • “Meltzler” or “Alvarez”
  • “Vince is reportedly furious…”
  • “According to WWE.com…”
  • “Flair recalled…”
  • “Russo said on Twitter…”

The banning of wrestling “news” sites comes after the release of a multi-year statistical study which shows that, on average, the rumors news news reported by supposedly “legitimate” wrestling websites are true only 0.0071 percent of the time — much lower than would happen through pure chance.

Kayfabe News, meanwhile, was shown to have a 103 percent accuracy rate — which, although mathematically impossible, was vehemently confirmed by our Chief Statistical Consultant, University of Michigan professor Dr. S. Steiner.

In this era of fake news — so eloquently and ingeniously exposed by WWE’s greatest Hall of Famer, Donald Trump — we at Kayfabe News promise to deliver only the most fair, balanced, and accurate reportage, like this¬†and this.