A panel of experts from the American Association of Electricians concluded that they are “unanimously dumbfounded” by a series of blinding explosions that emanated this past Monday from an LED panel on the stage of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) program Monday Night Raw.
Defying all known laws of circuitry, wattage, amperage and logic, a cacophony of sparks and explosions burst from the LED panels surrounding the so-called TitanTron when Brawn Strowman and nemesis Robert “Bobby” Lashley crashed through it Monday.
“There is no reasonable explanation for such a dazzling display of sparks and smoke,” said association president Darren Matthews, an expert and author known as Mr. Electricity. “It almost seems as if the explosions were deliberate — which is, of course, preposterous.”
Due to the relatively low levels of electrical current required to run even WWE’s large-scale LED display, experts insist that even a collision with sweaty bodies as gargantuan and Lashley’s and Strowman’s should result in little more than an unremarkable power outage.
“There might be a slight popping sound as some bulbs break, but nothing like the explosions we witnessed Monday,” said Matthews. “Certainly nothing to holler ‘holy sh**’ about.”
Amazingly, despite being rushed to a “nearby medical facility,” neither Lashley nor Strowman suffered electrocution, but rather a “squished pelvis” and “wonky spleen,” respectively.
But this is not the first time electricians and lighting technicians have been surprised by unlikely explosions on the WWE set. When the Big Show chokeslammed John Cena into a large spotlight, for instance, the resulting explosion was inconsistent all of the safety regulations required of such lighting and was deemed “impossible” by the spotlight’s manufacturer.
Some conspiracy theorists, or “truthers,” have suggested that such mysterious explosions on WWE programming bear the hallmarks of a controlled demolition, suggesting an insidious inside job.
Backstage sources, meanwhile, reveal that in a remarkable coincidence, a new Raw set was already under construction.