Daniel Bryan vows to win, then relinquish, every championship in WWE.

Though currently sidelined with the latest in a string of unfortunate injuries, popular professional wrestler Daniel Bryan told reporters today that he is “100 percent committed” to reclaiming, and then immediately re-surrendering, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

“That gold will soon be mine again, and then immediately vacated,” said Bryan.

“Mark my words: I will soon be, and subsequently not be, your WWE World Heavyweight Champion.”

Bryan is a loveable underdog who first won WWE’s most prestigious crown at WrestleMania 30, before being forced to give it up several minutes later

More recently, Bryan attained the WWE Intercontinental Champion, but sadly had to relinquish that title as well, to the great dismay of the citizens of Intercontinent.

Though it is unclear when Bryan will be medically cleared to compete again, WWE pundits believe he will have to start at the bottom of the roster, winning and relinquishing the tag team championship, the US Championship and the Divas Championship en route to winning/surrendering the World Championship.

“Will I be champion again?” said Bryan. “YES! Then NO! Then YES! Then NO! Then YES!”