World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that D-Generation X — the juvenile knuckleheads who entertained a generation of pubescent nitwits with dick jokes — will reunite next week for an unprecedented umpteenth time. 

Fans of sports entertainment will remember the first bunch of times Shawn Michaels and Triple H got back together for shenanigans with glow sticks and roosters, and then the next batch of reunions through the 2000s and 2010s. 

But the upcoming reunion on next week’s Monday Night Raw will mark the first time D-X — or any professional wrestling faction — has reunited umpteen times. 

“Never before, and never again, will D-X reunite for the umpteenth time,” screamed commentator Michael Cole (who, incidentally, recently celebrated his umpteenth repetition of the term “never before, and never again”). 

According to a leaked script for the upcoming D-X segment, Shawn Michaels will comically mime being out of breath, then do everything in his power to ensure his bandana and hat remain intact, amid rumours that his hair might be starting to thin a bit. 

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