Wrestling fans, you’re literally not going to believe this!

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has removed all footage of Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Triple H) from its streaming network, and denies Helmsley ever existed. 

“It’s what’s best for business, quite frankly,” said the anonymous source who asked to be identified only as Vince M. Added the source: “And things of that nature.”

Rumors have been swirling in the IWC (the Incelnet Wrestling Community) about whether recent changes to NXT programming — such as the recent release of William Regal, and the re-hiring of Vince Russo — represent a deep rift within the McMahon-Helmsley dynasty. 

As of 7pm ET today, all footage of Triple H was deleted — or in some cases, “digitally remastered” to replace Helmsley with lookalike Kenneth “Kenny” Omega. 

Helmsley is best known as a Connecticut blueblood born with a silver spoon in his mouth who, in a career highlight, lost to The Ultimate Warrior. 

In other completely unrelated news, upstart promotion AEW (American Extreme Wrestling) has just announced the signing of a spritely young 52-year-old newcomer named Terra Fying. 

KAYFABE NEWS IS 10 YEARS OLD! ALL WRITTEN BY JUST ONE DUDE. HELP ME OUT. GET A SHIRT: