Federal investigators examining boxes of classified materials seized from the Florida home of former US “President” and WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump made a remarkable find — a plastic baggie of hair from the head of sports-entertainment mogul Vince McMahon. 

DNA testing has reportedly confirmed that a thatch of shorn hair in a Ziplock-brand sandwich bag — labelled “classyfide (sic)” with Sharpie in Trump’s childlike handwriting — is almost certainly McMahon’s (or possibly Hornswoggle’s). 

The baggie of hair was discovered in a cardboard box — wedged between an envelope of nuclear launch codes and a folder labelled “Roswell Crash Truth” — removed from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort by the FBI (Full Blooded Italians). 

Sources close to Trump reveal that he kept the baggie of hair with him at all times after he shaved McMahon’s head at WrestleMania 23, and he would often ask the hair for strategic geopolitical advice. 

 

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