The traditional Christmas celebration at the McMahon family mansion in Connecticut predictably devolved into misery Wednesday when the drunken, red-faced patriarch Vince McMahon told every family member “you’re firrrrred!”
The “First Family of Professional Wrestling” had collectively hoped their annual gathering would go smoothly this year, but Vince always gets boorish when he mixes spiked egg nog with ICO PRO.
Although the family — mother Linda, children Shane and Stephanie, and son-in-law Triple H — began their Christmas by singing carols, a soused Vince quickly burst into a slurred rendition of “Stand Back.”
The family tried to maintain a sense of decorum through dinner, but Vince repeatedly referred to the turkey as “the Gooker,” and insisted that Linda should have his “grapefruits for dessert.”
By the time he started “firing” everyone, Vince had donned one of his baby-blue sportscoats with a WWF logo on the lapel, and repeatedly hollered “what a maneuver!”
Vince’s inebriated antics continued until he finally passed out on the modified “King of the Ring” throne he uses as a toilet.