Bray Wyatt and his cult-like “family” are recovering in hospital today after being brutally bedazzled by glitter and confetti when they invaded The New Day’s whimsical compound.
“It was a nightmare,” Wyatt recalled. “Everyone was smiling, the birds were chirping, and I saw at least seven unicorns, all farting rainbows.”
The Wyatts invaded The New Day’s compound — located somewhere between Shangri-La and Xanadu — as revenge for The New Day trespassing on Wyatt territory last week.
But whereas the Wyatt Compound is a nightmarish, sepia-toned hellscape, The New Day’s turf is a sanctuary of fanciful feel-goodiness where all living things clap in unison and no one dares be sour.
Wyatt said he knew is family had made a mistake when he saw Big E’s wiggling hips and heard the dulcet tones of trombone music.
The family’s ill-fated invasion came to an end after Braun Strowman got his head stuck inside a giant Booty-O, forcing them to follow the buzzards home.