According to sources close to the Wyatt Family, the cult-like faction of wrestling hillbillies are growing weary of carrying The Undertaker around as they await further instructions from leader Bray Wyatt.
Erick Rowan was recently heard complaining of a sore back, having borne much of The Undertaker’s 300 pounds for more than a week.
“Can’t we just put him down and tie him up or something?” a fatigued Rowan was overhead saying. “I mean, he’s dead weight.”
Since ambushing and abducting the Deadman at the conclusion of WWE’s Hell in a Cell event, the Rowan and partner Braun Stroman have carried the Undertaker everywhere they’ve been, including airports, hotels, restaurants, several Walmarts and, horrifyingly, a Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Adding to their burden, the Wyatts also recently abducted The Undertaker’s brother, Kane, and have been carrying him from place to place as well, listening to him yammer on about the merits of libertarianism.
Bray Wyatt has not yet revealed his nefarious plans for The Undertaker and Kane, though even the most casual wrestling fans suspect a gimmicky Survivor Series match in the making.