Although the company has been aiming its programming toward a younger audience in recent years, World Wrestling Entertainment targeted the 95-107 demographic last night by recruiting Larry King as social media ambassador.
“Members of the WWE Universe are of all ages, from toddlers to centenarians whose shrivelled bodies are kept artificially alive thanks to the technological marvels of modern medicine,” reads a WWE press release issued before Raw last night.
“With Larry King as social media ambassador, the WWE Universe will expand into nursing homes, bingo halls and bridge clubs everywhere.”
Prior to last night’s broadcast, the former CNN interviewer was roused from a deep slumber, injected with a gamut of vitamins and stimulants, and changed from his jammies into a shirt, tie and his trademark suspenders.
WWE public relations employees then spent several hours explaining the fundamentals of Twitter to King, who mistakenly believed it was a kind of tropical songbird.
Throughout the broadcast, King occasionally shouted nonsensical ramblings at his TV, which WWE employees liberally translated into phrases such as: “Congratulations @JRsBBQ on your appreciation night. #WWE #RAW.”