World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) its Roadblock event tonight, which would have conflicted with your evening social plans had you made any.
The event will feature a “Once in a Lifetime” showdown between Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens, which you might as well watch because that cute new girl in Accounts Receivable is totally ignoring your texts.
Rather than drinking yourself into oblivion while surfing adult websites, as per your usual Sunday evening routine, you can now watch Charlotte and Sasha Banks wrestle a 30-minute Ironman Match (or, as Charlotte’s father called it in his heyday, a “warm-up”).
While other people are out on the town, squeezing the last bit of glorious freedom out of the weekend, you’ll tonight watching a trio of grown men wearing unicorn horns dance to the sound of a trombone. Think about that for a minute. You’ve made some bad choices.
On the bright side, when the rest of the world has a case of the Monday blahs tomorrow, you’ll be excitedly scouring the internet for Raw spoilers.