World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) presents its inaugural Roadblock event this Saturday, which would have conflicted with your Saturday evening social plans had you made any.
The final big stop on the so-called Road to WrestleMania will see Dean Ambrose square off against reigning champ Triple H, which you might as well watch because that cute new girl in Accounts Receivable is totally ignoring your texts.
Rather than drinking yourself into oblivion while surfing adult websites, as per your usual Saturday evening routine, you can now watch Brock Lesnar do battle with Bray Wyatt, and then pursue debauched depravity.
While other people are out on the town, seizing the glorious freedom of the weekend, you’ll spend Saturday night watching a trio of grown men wearing unicorn horns dance to the sound of a trombone. Think about that for a minute.
On the bright side, when the rest of the world has the blues on Monday, you’ll be excitedly scouring the internet for Raw spoilers.