The Road to WrestleMania begins this Sunday with WWE Fastlane, and our panel of experts has compiled this list of predictions that we suppose you can read if you truly don’t have something more worthwhile to do with your time.
Triple Threat Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns:
It seems pretty obvious that Roman Reigns is going to emerge as the victor from this one, thereby securing his spot as Triple H’s opponent at WrestleMania, but don’t you think you could be reading a great work of literature or something right now?
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho
The newcomer Styles needs a win to preserve his momentum, and Jericho’s main job these days is to “put over” new talent, but does this actually matter when you could be spending time with family right now instead? When’s the last time you told your mother you love her?
Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio (2 out of 3 falls match)
Kalisto wins a see-saw battle to retain his United States Championship and — are you still reading this? You realize there are full university courses online for free, right?
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Wait, have you even had a shower today? Brushed your teeth? You know what? For your sake, we’re just going to stop here. Get your act together, man. Carpe Diem.