Members of the so-called “creative team” at World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) are scrambling this week to find an irrelevant Hollywood D-lister to fill the role of guest host on next week’s episode of Monday Night Raw.
After setting the bar especially low with guest appearances by Kathie-Lee and Hoda, Jerry Springer, and the talent-bereft dimwits from Florida Georgia Line, the company hopes to continue showcasing has-beens about whom wrestling fans could not care less.
“Monday Night Raw is the perfect forum on which to showcase celebrities who know nothing about sports entertainment, but clearly have some new movie or product to shill,” says a press release issued by the company this morning.
“And we have three hours to fill, so we’ll take anybody.”
Although the company does not have a guest host lined up for this Monday’s Raw, some names under consideration reportedly include:
- The guy who played Steve Urkel
- Kevin Federline (again)
- The molester guy linked to Honey Boo Boo
- Dixie Carter
The press release urges “all washed-up, past-their-prime, shameless self-promoters who would like to squeeze out a sixteenth minute of fame” to send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org.