Legendary professional wrestler and backstage mastermind Dusty Rhodes today orchestrated his own ultimate “Dusty Finish” — an ending that left fans worldwide shocked, confused, and wishing the babyface had triumphed.

During his illustrious career, both as an in-ring performer and a behind-the-scenes matchmaker, Rhodes became the namesake of a match conclusion (or “finish”) in which no clear winner is determined because of a reversed decision due to outside interference or obscure technicality.

Rhodes’ own swan-song, however, was a brilliant double-swerve — millions of fans were hoping Rhodes’ passing would turn out to be a “false finish,” but God refused to reverse His decision to take Rhodes.

Like a true professional, Rhodes “did the honors” by stepping out of the spotlight forever, leaving a larger-than-life legacy to inspire future generations of wrestlers.

According to sources in Heaven, Rhodes is currently dancing up a storm with Sapphire, and is already booked in a cage match tomorrow night against former rival Randy Savage. Said one angel: “This is awe-some.”

 

So long, Dusty, and thanks for the memories. Retht in peathe.

 

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