Despite possessing an encyclopedic knowledge of professional wrestling, including the entire lineage of the WWE Intercontinental Championship, 29-year-old Jeremy McLennan is severely lacking in related knowledge, such as the names of Earth’s continents.

The self-described “smart mark” knows, for instance, that Pat Patterson became inaugural Intercontinental Champion during a (fictional) 1979 tournament in Brazil, but mistakenly believes Brazil is located on the continent of “Amazonia.”

And while McLennan knows that Santino Marella defeated Kofi Kingston for the championship in April 2007, he thinks Marella is from “Italiamerica” and Kingston from “African Jamaica.”

His geopolitical worldview includes other peculiar beliefs formed as a result of his fondness for wrestling, including:

  • He believes Bulgaria is “a city in Russia”
  • He thinks the Middle East has been peaceful ever since Muhammad Hassan disappeared
  • He’s convinced every Samoan alive is a cousin of The Rock (only part-true)
  • He believes real Americans fight for the rights of every man, which the current election calls into serious question

McLennan is looking forward to the crowning of a new WWE Universal Champion, despite his mistaken belief that the universe ends at Pluto.

 

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