Legendary wrestling promoter Vince McMahon Sr., the patriarch of American professional wrestling, reportedly rolled in his grave Sunday night for the duration of popular “reality TV” show Total Divas.
McMahon, who passed away 30 years ago this week after pioneering what would become the sports-entertainment juggernaut World Wrestling Entertainment, was evidently so appalled by the hamfisted dialogue and catty twaddle of the show that his corporeal remains began to involuntarily spasm.
Sophisticated magnetic resonance technology scanning at his gravesite in Greenwich, CT, revealed a tumbling motion for the full hour Total Divas was on the air — with intensified activity during the segments in which Trinity cried for no good reason.
Scientists who recorded the strange phenomenon were left to conclude that, even after death, a body can react negatively to stimuli it finds distasteful, such as McMahon’s otherworldly writhing when Nattie accused Eva of flirting with TJ.
“We now have conclusive scientific evidence that Total Divas is, as many had already expected, the complete opposite of everything Vince McMahon Sr. had envisioned for professional wrestling,” said Prof. Leon Musgrave.
“It even insults the intelligence of disembodied spirits.”
This is the second known occasion that the elder McMahon’s body has rolled in its grave; the first coincided with the birth of Mae Young’s baby hand.