During his final night on early before the Apocalypse, professional wrestling impresario Vince McMahon wept as he watched old WWE Armageddon pay-per-views, which seemed especially poignant to him.

McMahon said he could think of “no more fitting way” to spend his final hours before the great calamity predicted by the Mayan calendar wiped all life from the face of the planet.

Clutching a box of Kleenex and dabbing tears from his eyes, McMahon started by watching a VHS tape of Armageddon 1999, which featured a no-holds-barred match between himself and now-son-in-law Triple H.

“I had a good life,” he said, sobbing. “I have no regrets.”

A few hours later, while watching the Armageddon 2003 match between Rico and Heidenreich, he confessed that he did regret hiring Rico and Heidenreich.

 

 

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