WWE SmackDown LIVE will air for one final episode this Tuesday before the USA Network pulls the plug on the show forever due to the SmackDown brand’s “pathetic and disgraceful” loss to the Raw brand at Survivor Series.

“We do not support losers on our network, and Team Blue were definitely losers — in every sense of the word — at Survivor Series,” reads a statement issued this morning by USA Network.

“SmackDown LIVE is now an embarrassment to USA Network, and we shall henceforth sever all ties with the sub-par brand of sports-entertainment and the ham-and-eggers that perform on it.”

While the victorious superstars of Monday Night Raw were treated this morning to a ticker-tape parade through downtown Houston, the pathetic failures of the SmackDown roster were forced to mop the floor of the arena and slink out of town in shame.

USA Network announced that the time-slot previously held by SmackDown LIVE will now be filled each week by reruns of WWE Legends House.

Support wrestling satire — get a shirt: