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Undertaker requests do-over

Undertaker return 2014

The Undertaker wants a mulligan.

Having finally realized the full magnitude of his streak-ending loss at WrestleMania 30, legendary pro wrestler The Undertaker has officially submitted a request for a do-over.

“Can we make that match, you know, not count?” the so-called Phenom wrote this morning in an email sent to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Rules Committee.

“I wasn’t ready. The three-count was fast. My tights were too tight.”

The message continues in a similar manner, with The Undertaker offering a bevy of excuses for the loss to Brock Lesnar, and reasons why the result should be stricken from the record in favor of a rematch.

“I had a cold,” writes the Deadman, whose 21-match winning streak at WrestleMania was one of the most revered records in sports entertainment. “Paul Heyman was distracting me. I thought it was a two-out-of-three-falls match. Can I take a mulligan?”

The simpering email is uncharacteristic of the Undertaker, typically a stoic man of few words who many expected would retire after the monumental loss to Lesnar.

Some wrestling pundits believe The Undertaker’s request for a do-over match will be granted, and the losing WrestleMania effort will be quietly erased from the record books.  WWE did, after all, did promote a match between John Cena and The Rock as “Once in a Lifetime,” and then hold the same match the following year.

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