In what promises to be “the most realistic WWE simulation to date,” the forthcoming WWE 2k17 game will force players to sit through long periods of bickering and name-calling before they can press a single button.
“You’ll feel like you’re playing an actual episode of Raw!” promises a press release issued today by game developer Yuke’s. “We promise you’ll finish at least two beers before you can even throw a punch.”
According to the press release, every session of gameplay will begin with a member of the McMahon family sauntering, swaggering or strutting to the ring, antagonizing and/or pandering to the crowd, and spending the following 11 minutes recapping recent events.
McMahon will then be interrupted by a wrestler, whose own tirade will be interrupted by another wrestler, and so on, until at least a dozen wrestlers are in the ring and nearly half an hour has elapsed.
Finally, gamers will hear McMahon say: “And that match starts… right now!”
Then, following one minute of gameplay, the game will be interrupted by a two-minute commercial break.