Though he is, by all outward appearances, an avid wrestling fan with an encyclopedic knowledge of the sport, 28-year-old Brandon Barker has attained the status of “super-smark” by hating every wrestler, promotion, and television show in the industry.
“Daniel Bryan, meh,” Barker tweeted today, dismissing the enormously popular WWE star as “overrated and under-talented” with a “merely passable workrate.”
“Bryan is just another underdog hero schtick foisted upon us by The Fed,” added Barker, using the smug wrestling nerd slang term for World Wrestling Entertainment.
Though Barker used to be just an average smark (or “smart mark” — a fan who understands and incessantly critiques the wrestling business), he graduated to the level of super-smark last week when he declared that “Ring of Honor sucked even when Claudio (Cesaro) and Generico held straps (championship belts).”
Barker’s smarkiness has only continued to escalate since then, with declarations like “Chikara is too mainstream” and “NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 9 had a worse workrate than NOAH Uprising Spirit 2002.”
Barker now insists he only watches wrestling promotions that doesn’t actually exist.