In his latest controversial edict in the lead-up to his presidency of the United States, WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump has demanded that the Oval Office be completely renovated into a so-called squared circle.
“Ovals are for losers,” said Trump. “I’m a huge WWE legend, so my office should be a squared circle, bigly squared.”
The President-elect has promised to implement a slew of changes to the White House based on his sports-entertainment background, from a giant screen called the TrumpoTron above the front door to an elaborate pyrotechnic show that will herald his arrival and exit.
Asked to describe the dimensions of a squared circle, Trump referred to his newly appointed Science Advisor, Bushwhacker Luke, who just licked the heads of nearby reporters.
Trump said he intends to model his presidency after the WWE leadership of Vince McMahon, in particular by forcing rival statesmen to join his “Kiss My Ass Club.”