US President Donald Trump announced this morning that his preposterous plan to build a wall along the Mexican border will be led by professional wrestling “booker” Vince Russo, thus ensuring no one can get over.
“Believe me, nobody prevents people from getting over better than Russo,” Trump said during a White House press briefing attended by Fox News, Brietbart, Alex Jones, and a sentient banana.
“Russo will make sure no Mexicools, Guerreros, or other luchadors can get over here.”
When asked by reporters how he intends to prevent anyone from getting over, he replied: “Bro, bro bro — bro brobro, bro brobrobro, bro.”
After a thoughtful pause, Russo added: “Bro.”
According to leaked documents, Russo will begin tightening Mexican border controls by mandating that all newcomers to the U.S. compete in “Immigration Papers on a Pole” matches.