TNA Wrestling President Dixie Carter said on Twitter today that she’ll be making a “huge announcement” on this week’s episode of Impact Wrestling, just as she has promised every week for more than a year.

“This will be the biggest announcement in TNA history,” lied Carter for the umpteenth time. “This is going to change everything.”

TNA known for making grand proclamations of “revolutionary changes” that will “shock the world,” which invariably turn out to be quite run-of-the-mill changes that come as a shock to precisely no one.

Most wrestling pundits believe Carter’s “huge” announcement will have something to do with Brooke Hogan running the Knockouts Division, Impact Wrestling transitioning from a pre-taped show to a live broadcast, or some other mildly intriguing development that has already been circulating the internet wrestling rumor mill for weeks.

“Professional wrestling will never be the same after this announcement!” Carter enthused.

In related news, a local boy cried wolf today.

 

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