SWAT team plans assault on hillbilly cult - Kayfabe News twitter google

SWAT team plans assault on hillbilly cult

wyatt family the shield

In completely unrelated news, the Wyatt Family will face The Shield at this weekend’s Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. 

A three-man Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team is planning an assault on a dangerous cult of inbred hillbillies during a special operation this Sunday.

Tensions has been mounting for weeks between the redneck cultists and the justice-seeking law enforcement squad, and is expected to boil over in a dangerous showdown in Minneapolis.

The cult has been under surveillance by the SWAT team for some time now, suspected of promoting dangerous quasi-religious viewpoints and general creepiness.

Although the SWAT team is made up of three highly trained operatives, there is some concern that dissent among the ranks might lead to a dangerous loss of focus during the assault.

The de facto leader of the tactical squadron insists that the operation will proceed without a hitch, but his second-in-command (who is bigger, stronger, and seeking more prominence on the squad) merely smirked knowingly.

The entire showdown is, of course, being filmed for a soon-to-air episode of popular reality TV program Cops. 

In totally unrelated news, this weekend’s “Elimination Chamber” professional wrestling pay-per-view will feature a six-man tag team match pitting The Shield against the Wyatt Family.

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