survivor seriesWorld Wresting Entertainment (WWE) has called off tonight’s Survivor Series pay-per-view after the competitors in the much-hyped “Team Raw vs. Team SmackDown” bout settled their differences amicably through rational dialogue and compromise.

“We are all Team WWE,” reads a statement jointly issued today by Kurt Angle and Shane McMahon, figureheads of the Raw and SmackDown, respectively.

“We must not let our petty differences damage the greater unity we all share as professional sports-entertainers. Love trumps brand warfare.”

While backstage sources say there remains some resentment on both sides — Brawn Strowman is reportedly “emotionally frail” after sneak-attacks by the SmackDown roster — the superstars reached a cordial ceasefire during a company-mandated team-building exercise yesterday.

“There’s already too much conflict in the world,” said Angle. “It’s time to build relationships, not walls.”

The bout pitting AJ Styles against Brock Lesnar was also nixed after Lesnar realized he didn’t stand a chance against a former TNA champion.

 

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